Alcoholism is a serious, fatal, progressive disease.
Nevertheless, humor is often encountered in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. It helps to relieve tension and uplift spirits. Here’s an example of such humor, a collection of thoughts I’ve heard in AA meetings that could be thought of as the top ten signs you might be an alcoholic:
- Your bar bill last month was twice your mortgage payment.
- You don’t understand why people have problems quitting. You do it every day, usually by midnight.
- You called the city recycling center to see if there are covers for your recycling bins.
- You’re getting more and more criticism from your spouse or lover but your real worry is making sure they don’t meet each other.
- You petitioned the city recycling center for more frequent pickups to reduce the 5 AM rattle that echoes through the neighborhood.
- You were relieved on your last business trip when you woke up to see that the person next to you in bed was of the opposite sex.
- You honestly believe your drinking buddies at the saloon are “mentors”.
- You just wore out the motor on your third trash compactor this year.
- You designed a white wine bulk delivery and distribution system for your home.
- You adopted the Anheuser-Busch shield for your family coat of arms.